We cannot solve our own problems.

Collage: Justine Anweiler, Copacktivate, 2024.

I used to have this saying that I lived by. It went: you are the problem AND the solution.

I really believed we could solve our own problems - by ourselves.

So much so, I prototyped this hard in 2020 when I left Lululemon and moved back to Canada to live in my mum’s house, at the height of the pandemic so I could really focus on what I wanted to do with my life. Especially in terms of a career.

I embodied the belief that if I just sat long enough with myself, if I just got the conditions and the environment right - the answers inside me would reveal themselves to me.

They did not.

I continued this way in 2021 doing online courses, all the self-care and healing, and connecting with various friends around the globe — and still no answers.

So in 2022, I decided to invest in myself. It was my year of group courses. I did it all! From content masterclasses for sales funnels to exploring Mugwort through Irish folklore.

No major life path revelations here either.

Mysterious to me at the time, I found myself both further along and further stuck in the same place.

Why?

Because I was trying to solve my problem alone.

So in 2023, I tried a new approach: be in community and be forthcoming with what I am struggling with.

Luckily, I was invited to The College of Extraordinary Experiences and it was a gathering that changed something.

I went in hoping it would change everything and I left feeling it had - yet again - changed nothing.

But something did happen … it was the first place I embodied the sentiment:

Hey, I have been trying to solve this problem that I don’t know what I want to “be” or “do” in my life but I know I’d like to live with purpose and heart - however, I don’t know where to start or what that even looks like.

The magic that happened was people came out of the woodwork, some even months later looking, to connect with the notion: Hey, I think I can help you with that problem because:

1. I solved it in my lifetime (or)
2. I’m there too.

And that’s when things started changing . . .

We cannot solve our own problems because humans need community. That’s why we are still here. We need each other to survive.

So here’s what I think:

❌ Self-study = solving your problem alone
❌ Group coaching = you are still a solo solver
❌ Recruiting friends/family to help you solve your problem = blank stares (it may also reinforce stories of being unseen, unheard, unhelped, etc.)

✅ Working with a human 1:1 who has an invested interest in helping you solve your problem = accountability and actionable steps

✅✅ Finding humans who are navigating this too = let’s solve this together (and maybe one day we can help others like us)

For anyone trying to solve a problem on their own, please know we are not made to solve them by ourselves. We need each other. I hope you find your guide(s) or compadres who can solve yours with you 👯‍♀️

Article FAQs generated by AI:
1. Why can’t we solve our own problems alone?
Solving our own problems alone can be challenging because we often have blind spots and ingrained thought patterns that limit our perspective. Without external input, we may struggle to see alternative solutions or gain the clarity needed to address our issues effectively. Community and collaboration introduce new viewpoints and insights that can help us break free from our own limitations and discover innovative approaches.

2. How can finding a community or a guide help in solving personal problems?
Finding a community or a guide can provide the support, accountability, and diverse perspectives needed to tackle personal problems. A community of individuals facing similar challenges can offer empathy, encouragement, and shared strategies. A guide or mentor with experience in overcoming similar issues can provide personalized advice, actionable steps, and motivation, helping us navigate our problems more effectively.

3. What steps can I take to connect with people who can help me solve my problems?
To connect with people who can help you solve your problems, start by seeking out communities, groups, or forums related to your interests or challenges. Attend events, workshops, or classes where you can meet like-minded individuals. Be open about your struggles and actively seek advice and support from those who have faced similar issues. Consider working with a mentor or coach who can provide one-on-one guidance and accountability. Building these connections can create a network of support that aids in problem-solving and personal growth. Drop me an email :)